Day 147 Record Keeping SRHI = 79
Day 115 Fixed Meditation SRHI = 78
Day 61 Bodyweight Exercise SRHI= 72 (3 bridges, 30 sec plank)
Day 161 Eating SRHI = 58  
Bad sleep, bleary wakeup.

Bad Sleep and the SRHI

Today I had a really bad night sleep - it was interrupted, filled with bad dreams and when I woke up I felt incredibly bleary and slow. I noticed that when I took the SRHI I appeared to pessimistic in all my answers, which lead to slightly depressed scores. 

I seem to recall this on other days, and I’m curious if there is a correlation. My meditation wasn’t as effective as it usually is today either, which probably leaves me feeling much less optimistic and chipper about the day. 

Endurance Depletion

Last night I also felt a serious case of what I’m calling Endurance Depletion - that feeling of being sick of everything - but more than that - a bone tiredness. Not physical, just a mental torpor followed by extreme pessimism and an inability to see any progress that I’ve made. Basic tasks became hard to do. It felt like I was trudging through sludge or like a fly caught in honey. At one point described myself as “feeling sludge-y.”

It’s important to describe this feeling in order to identify what is going on and prevent “ah-screw-it!” moments. And in fact I did have one, and ended up having a cheat meal.

Individual moments of weakness aren’t so important. What is important is a collapse of the whole system. What I’m essentially building is a house of cards where the bottom row is slowly SLOWLY turning into concrete. If I build too fast, the entire house falls down.

And the truth is, I am doing quite a bit - I have a new position at work that’s taking some getting used to, and I’m still trying to get back on track from the most difficult of habits - eating. This is why I’m giving myself a little more time and space before adding a new habit.