Day 385
Day 385 Record Keeping
Day 354 Fixed Meditation
Day 300 Bodyweight Exercise (2 typewriter pushups)
Day 227 Writing (work, 681 words)
Day 400 Eating = 81
Day 35 Dynamic Meditation = 71 (41 minutes)
Great sleep, great wakeup. Skipped days due to press trip, travel, and consulate appointment. Unfortunately the gap messed up my streak needed to declare eating a superhabit. Trying to focus only on one thing - work writing and pitching - the hardest things that slip away because I fear them. It might not be as hard doing other things, but that’s ok.
Dynamic Med Notes (41 minutes):
x10 shoulders
x2 fidgeting
x3 multiple arisings of fear and anxiety
x8 multiple arisings caught
x1 replaying of past triggering event
Notes: Anger and irritation collapse into sadness, miserableness and fear - you can see that progression clearly. Now it’s almost a sense of dullness and guilt
The metaphor of a solvent that starts working on things immediately is very useful for me.
Starting off the back end of a huge arising of irritation, anxiety, and sadness think of it in terms of structural integrity - negative emotion erodes and rebuilding and solidifying the structure takes time, and because of this concentrating is difficult
Everything is aiming.