The last several weeks have been pretty horrible. A tangled web of bad sleep, low energy, low willpower, and an immense amount of depression have forced me to admit I need some time off. 

If it was any one thing, I think I could work through it. But lack of sleep prevents me from either getting things done promptly or getting up with enough time to get out. This is especially problematic since I think a part of the reason I’m having such issues is due to the lack of sunlight in my apartment.

My HIIT progression has made me quite exhausted, but not as much so as all I’ve been doing to learn about book publishing. And although I have a lot of specific experiments to figure out my sleeping problem and breaking through my depression through pushing meditation, it’s a lot. 

Sleep looks like it will require a metric that incorporates a sleep scale (sleep efficiency and sleep quality) in order to test out specific variables. Depression will involve a modified form of my old dynamic meditation. Both involve extra recording. And I still have my Gotham course, writing assignments, and a looming trip back home.

So, I’m going to do a bit of self care. Today I walked around in the sun, watched stupid tv, and read and learned about random things I’ve been pushing off that have nothing to do with work.

I just finished reading Cal Newport’s book Deep Work. One of the points that stuck with me was the importance placed on actions in the off time - how to stop thinking about work and how to take off in order to come back with renewed vigor. I acknowledge its importance but I absolutely HATE the idea of taking off. Time is a-wastin’, and I always feel like I should have mastered half of this stuff years ago - I’m way too impatient to begin more advanced practices.

But, now, at the end of my first day off, I’m already feeling incredibly relaxed. The delta change is incredible, enough to make me think that Cal’s on to something here.