The simple repetition of solid habits isn’t enough - a lifetime of growth relies on adaptation.

Over the last few weeks my system has glitched. 

When my meditation course finished, I floundered.

I borrowed a rower, but I had to return it as soon as I developed a strong, basic habit. When I pivoted to walking, it got really hot and my habit was inconsistent. And my covid reset attempt fizzled out within a few weeks.

One thing I’ve learned in this project is that there’s always a reason for why things fail that’s more complex than “I just couldn’t do it”. And there were plenty of reasons for failure here.

Enacting all these changes at once was dicey to begin with. A global pandemic, race riots, and a very intense meditation course didn’t help either.

But more importantly, there were deeper, systemic flaws.

PLANNING FOR CHANGE

In the sci-fi show The Expanse, Joe Miller is a cynical, world hardened gumshoe who describes the dangers of walking into rooms. 

“I keep warning you. Doors and corners, kid. That’s where they get you.”

I feel that’s a good metaphor for my recent failures. 

When my rower had to be returned (like I knew that it would) I didn’t have a plan. When my meditation class ended, I didn’t know how to step back into a normal practice. And that’s consistently the biggest problem at the end of any challenge or growth cycle.

Sometimes it works on its own. When I went back to my normal writing after NaNoWriMo, I just naturally wrote more. But such natural growth all-too-often just fizzles out. 

BETTER MENTAL CONTRASTING

One way to navigate these danger zones is a more robust form of mental contrasting. 

A technique pioneered by psychologist Gabriele Oettingen, mental contrasting uses positive AND practical projections to come up with a plan that often works better in long-term change.

In mental contrasting you project ahead to any barriers you think you’ll have in your bourgeoning habit and figure out strategies to overcome them in advance. This usually includes alternative activities. If, say, it’s raining and you know you won’t run in bad weather, you’ve got to plan around that.

But another obvious element to include is how exactly you’re going to grow the habit. 

I didn’t formally do this for rowing at all – even though I knew the rower wasn’t going to be here for long. 

Addressing the big picture involves knowing what the next transition will be in order to level up a behavior. If I had planned to switch to another exercise habit and formalized it, I might’ve known that walking in the Texas heat would get to me.

TRANSITIONS

If cross training and pushing a habit are the “corners” in this metaphor, then life transitions are the doors. Visits, travel, the end of a job or the start of a new one - life intrudes, and when it does it disrupts the system. Suddenly cues that were automatic aren’t so strong any more.

One way to transition is to plan a break. They’re critical for rejuvenation, yet I only really take time off when I’m forced into it kicking and screaming.

Another way is to abruptly end a habit and start a new one. In a previous post (“Killing Habits is Just as Important as Forming Them”), I talk about how it’s important to set a transition point, and suggest that 3 months might be a good time to do that even if there’s no other external change.  A formal hand off to the next set of cues to crosstrain a skill-based habit is imperative. 

However, I think that there might be a better method. In THIS post, I theorize an “unzippering” method to create two habits for the willpower price of one. I think I might be able to use this theory to splice in a new habit into the ending of the old one. This would allow for a smooth transition between multiple habits within a lifestyle such as exercise.

If I had tapered off my rowing habit while on-ramping walking, maybe I’d still have a continuous workout lifestyle right now.

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All of this requires quite a bit of planning to orchestrate with any amount of continuity. That’s a skill I’m still working on.

But Detective Miller was right – Plans perish in portals and passages. 

I don’t intend mine to die quite so easily.

TAKEAWAYS

1. When planning a skill-based habit, always include the plan for the next progression

2. When mental contrasting, be on the look out for any personal transitions, whether it’s a trip, a visitor, or the ending of a class or challenge. Prep for what you’ll do right after that point.

3. Plan time off.

4. Try to smoothly transition from one habit to the next in a lifestyle.