Day 36

Record Keeping SRHI = 61
Fixed Meditation SRHI = 29
Dynamic Meditation SRHI = 49

Great night sleep, slow wakeup

44 recorded instances of negative thoughts yesterday, and numerous others I didn’t record. Here are some thoughts:

1. I noticed more instances where I nipped the thought before it fully crystalized. 

2. It’s like cheating. I’ve been so programmed to feel bad about things, that deciding not to about anything is like cheating at the game of life. Even if something bad happens I don’t have to feel bad about it. 

3. I’m starting to feel a very alien feeling - general happiness.

4. FEAR is something I haven’t adequately attacked. It’s still very difficult for me, and is something I need to focus on more.

5. I noticed something very unusual - after I nip things in the bud, I’ll go to record it and I have extreme difficulty remembering what caused my sadness or anxiety, even though it happened a few seconds ago. 

6. Hacking the SRHI - I’ll discuss this in a separate post.

I’m continuing to record specific instances of Dynamic Meditation (Equanimity Training would, perhaps, be a better term), and I will from now on only blog about any trends or thoughts I see when looking them over.