Day 1120 Record Keeping
Day 1092 Fixed Meditation (DID NOT DO)
Day 966 Writing (A LOT)
Day 506 Rowing (walked, 1.5 hours)
Day 247 Mobility/Stretching (DID NOT DO)
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Early to Rise
Day 275 Sleep Recording (12|(5:30-7:30)11:30|1:20|)
Day 246 Bedtime Curfew
Day 84 Wakeup Alarm
Day 1 Wakeup Walk 22
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Horrendous sleep, horrible wakeup. Very very upset this morning because of bad sleep. The morning walk turned it around and was very enjoyable. I’m pretty sure the sleep had more to do with the timing of when I drank tea (which was a few hours before bed), as I had to get up several times to go the bathroom. Add that to the list of variables to test. Really busy with work hence the lack of the habits that failed to discharge.

Day 147 Record Keeping SRHI = 79
Day 115 Fixed Meditation SRHI = 78
Day 61 Bodyweight Exercise SRHI= 72 (3 bridges, 30 sec plank)
Day 161 Eating SRHI = 58
Bad sleep, bleary wakeup.

Bad Sleep and the SRHI

Today I had a really bad night sleep - it was interrupted, filled with bad dreams and when I woke up I felt incredibly bleary and slow. I noticed that when I took the SRHI I appeared to pessimistic in all my answers, which lead to slightly depressed scores.

I seem to recall this on other days, and I’m curious if there is a correlation. My meditation wasn’t as effective as it usually is today either, which probably leaves me feeling much less optimistic and chipper about the day.

Endurance Depletion

Last night I also felt a serious case of what I’m calling Endurance Depletion - that feeling of being sick of everything - but more than that - a bone tiredness. Not physical, just a mental torpor followed by extreme pessimism and an inability to see any progress that I’ve made. Basic tasks became hard to do. It felt like I was trudging through sludge or like a fly caught in honey. At one point described myself as “feeling sludge-y.”

It’s important to describe this feeling in order to identify what is going on and prevent “ah-screw-it!” moments. And in fact I did have one, and ended up having a cheat meal.

Individual moments of weakness aren’t so important. What is important is a collapse of the whole system. What I’m essentially building is a house of cards where the bottom row is slowly SLOWLY turning into concrete. If I build too fast, the entire house falls down.

And the truth is, I am doing quite a bit - I have a new position at work that’s taking some getting used to, and I’m still trying to get back on track from the most difficult of habits - eating. This is why I’m giving myself a little more time and space before adding a new habit.