DAY 1000 !!!!!

Day 1000 Record Keeping
Day 972 Fixed Meditation (DID NOT DO)
Day 846 Writing (1 round/30)
Day 386 Rowing (DID NOT DO)
Day 127 Mobility/Stretching (neck stretch with mom)
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Eating
Day 224 Pantry Check (DID NOT DO)
Day 222 Food Recording (DID NOT DO)
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Early to Rise
Day 155 Water (DID NOT DO)
Day 155 Sleep Recording  (DID NOT DO)
Day 126 Bedtime Curfew 66
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Great sleep. Traveled back home to Texas, arrived over the weekend. It’s been a 1,000 days of recording! I’m very proud, and very bitter.

I’ve been trying to get my mom to start recording as a base for a solid meditation habit - yesterday I emphasized creating a solid recording habit, because, oddly enough, just recording your recording makes a huge difference in sticking to any routine. So more than anything, I have to take pride in that - that even if today’s behaviors weren’t all accomplished, despite a lot of travel and a lot of interruptions, I recorded.

But I wanted my 1000th day to be smooth - a perfect day of a perfect set of flowing routines. Today was not that. I had difficulty starting my writing, I didn’t have time to exercise. Pantry check, food recording, water, sleep recording - all of that was thrown out of joint today. And the jet lag has made everything just a hair more difficult to focus on and do.

The day started well enough - traveling this direction naturally has me up early. But I wanted to talk to my mom, so I was less focused. I offered to drive her downtown, which took hours (since it’s Houston), and I hung out at the kitchen table afterwards, inviting a great conversation with my dad - to the detriment of my writing.

I don’t regret those things. And perhaps that’s what I learned the most, through the anger at the inability to force circumstances towards habit completion: That these routines are my tool - to be used, or, like today, to be dropped for greater goals -  like reconnecting with people after a year and a half abroad.

My mom said that being driven was really appreciated; it relaxed her on a day when she needed it. That’s got to count for something.

Day 629 & Ending Eating Habit

Day 629 Record Keeping (44)
Day 598 Fixed Meditation (77)
Day 475 Writing (49)
Day 15 Rowing (65)
Day 644 Eating ENDING EATING HABIT
Ok sleep, ok wakeup.

Ending Eating Habit
As I described in my last post I’ve had some serious thoughts when it comes to reformatting my eating habit, as it hasn’t concretely resulted in solid automaticity.

So I’m scratching it, a habit I’ve recorded for 644 days, and starting over from the beginning. It’s not all for naught - I think I’ve gotten a lot out of it. But I think at this point starting from the very beginning using all I’ve learned will get me to where I want faster. 

However, I’m not yet going to start. I think there might be another habit I want to institute first. I’ll get into that in another post.

Day 618

Day 618 Record Keeping (25)
Day 587 Fixed Meditation (60)
Day 460 Writing (58)
Day 4 Rowing (35)
Day 633 Eating (50)
Bad sleep, great wakeup. Rowing is going really well. Talking to my mom about how to properly do her habits got me underscoring how to do my own - the secret that I need to work on is BJ Fogg’s notion of “Crispiness.”

If if there’s a crisp if-then, then it works. For me that’s best with rowing - I do it as soon as I get out of bed. It’s not working with recording which I do “at some point before going to bed.”

I’m starting to record my eating for the day before. It’s been all over the place. I’m glad to know that some things are well in place in comparison to before. Drinking isn’t something I do. I rarely drink cokes or other soft drinks. If I drink coffee it’s black. When I make stuff at home it’s always clean. But when I need a snack or the option isn’t there or I don’t want to cook, I’ll cheat. The whole process of getting used to cooking and shopping - that’s not down, but I’m sure I’ll get there quickly again. Just underscores just how difficult eating clean is, whatever your choice or definition of what “clean” is.

Meditation isn chugging along quite well - the “shelf” I’m at is self sustaining. Really underscores shelving as a useful manner in which to rest habits and move other habits towards mastery.

I’m doing NaNoWriMo which is that habit’s push towards mastery. As such I really need to have a new way of doing the SRHI. Because I answer some questions as though it’s for writing in general - of course I will answer frequency questions really high if I’m answering them for writing in general. But for this push, it really should be treated as a separate habit. Or should it? It’s something I need to think about more.

I’ve also started taking daily shirtless pics of myself to record progress in weight loss and muscle definition in regards to rowing, since I see that habit as being really solid and practical. It can also be easily “shelved” in a way I haven’t been able to do with habits like eating.

Day 556

Day 556 Record Keeping (73)
Day 525 Fixed Meditation
Day 471 Bodyweight Exercise (2 typewriter pushups - 73)
Day 398 Writing (79)
Day 571 Eating (76)
Bad sleep, groggy wakeup. Really depleted due to bad sleep. Yet I still did my writing. I did have to go down to my minimum in bodyweights - was feeling depleted and still feel tired. 

Day 548

Day 548 Record Keeping (68)
Day 517 Fixed Meditation
Day 463 Bodyweight Exercise (1x8 bent knee inverted rows - 68)
Day 390 Writing (59)
Day 563 Eating (77)
Bad sleep, bad wakeup. Feeling depleted. Fixed meditation is all over the place - I don’t really have a “next phase” so I’m sort’ve floundering in practice. Bought a meditation cushion which may help with bodily pain during meditation. Writing was good today, eating has been excellent. Set up my chin up bar and started doing bent knee inverted rows.

Day 546 & Theorizing on Springiness in Mastery Cycling

Day 546 Record Keeping (67)
Day 515 Fixed Meditation
Day 461 Bodyweight Exercise (5 rounds, bodyweight tabata - 62)
Day 388 Writing (60)
Day 561 Eating (71)
Bad sleep, bad wakeup. Feeling good. Changed up my schedule again so that I did writing first, then exercises, then the rest of it. I have some nervous energy in my system from writing anyways. Also started incorporating tabatas. Ideally I’d like to do a pushing exercise, a pulling exercise, and core exercises to my routine. I think that would be a really solid routine to get good progress - and I’d consider mastery of that sequence throughout the week as a solid shelf to rest my practice.

Theorizing on Springiness in Mastery Cycling
Yesterday I talked about the extremes of depletion and vortex forces. I was thinking - is there any way to capitalize on this?

After starting a new routine where I’m pushing a habit towards mastery I get depleted, stressed, and depressed. After about a week I get a burst of energy and want to do a lot (vortex forces). There is definitely a feeling of springiness, where the equilibrium of the system reacts to a new endurance load. It makes sense that this takes time, especially since in my theory, endurance is willpower across time.

So - When vortex forces kick in, is it possible to use that subtlety in the process to do more?

My initial reaction is to say no (though I think it’s important to mull it over). Doing more work isn’t the point, it’s doing more work over time that reaps the greatest rewards. My thoughts are that cultivating a sense of satisfaction - knowing that I’m done completely with the day might be more effective to stave off that feeling of needing to do more.

As Lydia said today, I’m the type of person who will get into a groove, then get depressed because I’m not doing enough. I might as well be working even though I’m not - and the end point in my mind just doesn’t end. She heavily suggests doing something - a relaxation routine, or a reward - to signify a relaxation point. 

But it brings up other issues - since I haven’t yet meticulously recorded a mastery cycle, at what point is right to start doing more? My hunch is that it’s never going to get to that point. There’s going to be less energy at first, then more, and then it’s going to level out. There isn’t a time to do more, per se, but there is a time to switch habits to work on, or continue on another growth cycle, once a shelf  - where a habit can safely rest - is reached.

For example, I haphazardly started bodyweight exercises long ago. At some point doing 2 pushups a day transitioned to doing two typewriter pushups - and that’s solid. I’m currently working on going from 50 words of anything to a bit of work related writing tasks - and that’s a hard transition. 

My hunch is that during this period automaticity goes down because you’ve essentially shifted what constitutes completion of a habit - and often enough you’re also switching the order of your daily regimentation. Completion of the growth cycle is marked when the SRHI scores stop dipping and go back up.

I really want to start focusing on these subtleties because I don’t believe anyone else is talking about them, and I believe it’s one of the keys to successful self mastery.

Day 545 & Between Scylla and Charybdis

Day 545 Record Keeping (63)
Day 514 Fixed Meditation 
Day 460 Bodyweight Exercise (7 typewriter pushups - 60)
Day 387 Writing (56)
Day 560 Eating (72)
Good sleep, good wakeup. Feeling good.


Per my previous protocol, I’ve dropped recording the SRHI for fixed meditation because I maintained an 80 or above in it for a week, giving it superhabit status. As an aside meditation has been going well. Last night I started meditating (I’ve been doing this  more and more often lately) vipassana style. I found myself getting into this solid groove of letting thoughts flow without clinging, and it started to feel really good. Just as though I was entering first jhana.

Lydia has been reading about this more than I have lately, and Daniel Ingram does mention that you can enter first jhana through vipassana. I’m liking how a lot of his book reflects my personal experience after the fact, for items I didn’t read clearly or just skimmed over. It makes me feel like I’m making solid progress.

When I meditate I often don’t really want to go through with it - but that first initial repulsion is overwhelmed by the solid habit of just getting into position. Once I start it starts happening. That’s exactly what I’ve been feeling the last couple of days with writing. Thinking about the nitty gritty I immediately don’t want to do it, but I find myself just walking to my chair sitting down, and setting up my next writing task. That’s exactly where I want habits to be, especially ones I’m pushing - I’m never going to like the pain involved, but I’m not thinking about that - I’m mechanically and habitually getting set up, and the rest flows. This has clearly resulted in a higher score in the SRHI which I think will continue.

Eating has been amazing - it really clicked this weekend, as  I had some old college friends visit. Despite going out and having dinner, I was on autopilot, ignoring the bad foods and eating the solid ones. That’s also resulted in a very high score on the SRHI, and that’s exactly where I want that habit to be.

Between Scylla and Charybdis

I feel a lot better about my habits. Last weeks depression has fallen away, as predictable. It feels like it regularly takes a week or two for that strain to fade. The opposite is what I’m feeling now - the urge to do more. 

Having more latent energy makes me want to expand my exercises, expand my writing, expand my meditation…This is dangerous. 

It’s like Scylla and Charybdis in Ulysses.  Scylla was a monster, Charybdis was a whirlpool, and ships had to figure out how to navigate the Strait of Messina without being torn to pieces. This metaphor is particularly apt because I’ve described this scenario before as a battle of two forces that threaten to rip a part progress in this project. Too much depletion, and you don’t want to do anything. Too much energy, and the internal urge to do more overextends your willpower/endurance/grit.

Ulysses survived with few losses by choosing Scylla, I can’t afford the losses and must choose to angle my ship precisely in between the two dangers.

Lydia said something interesting today. “Now that you have done what you need to do, your job is to be satisfied.”

There’s a lot of wisdom and skill in that statement. It means sacrificing sudden momentary swaths of gains for long term steady progress, which is the heart of this entire project, yet so difficult to remember when in the thrall of vortex forces.

It is very interesting how these emotional urges play out time wise….it’s something I need to pay closer attention to.

Day 542 & How Mastery Can Adversely Affect Habit

Day 542 Record Keeping (52)
Day 511 Fixed Meditation (80)
Day 457 Bodyweight Exercise (6 typewriter pushups - 65)
Day 384 Writing (53)
Day 557 Eating (65)
Good sleep, ok wakeup. Depressed.

How Mastery Can Adversely Affect Habit
I’ve lately been noticing how my once absolutely rock solid superhabits have become torn lose by pushing for mastery. But what’s even more interesting on closer inspection is how day-to-day the techniques I use to push mastery interfere with the solidity of habits.

Take for example my recent run. I’ve been meditating every morning after getting up from bed, and after my recent hiatus from recording, I’ve got this as my daily SRHI for fixed meditation:

image

Looks awesome at first. I continue with my normal course of meditating right after waking up. So I’m scoring perfectly. Mid-way through the week I decide to switch up my schedule. Why? Because I’m pushing writing, and after I do my meditation, I feel drained to really do my writing habit.

It makes sense, from a mastery perspective, to switch up my schedule to do writing first. But as you can plainly see, this has caused turbulence in my SRHI scores for meditation later on in the week. 

If I look into the actual SRHI test, I notice that it’s the automaticity questions that are really getting me. I can’t honestly say it’s automatic, because the habit has been pegged to the mornings. When I do my writing, THEN meditate, there’s something off. It’s not automatic, I have to think about it.

This is all ok at this level - my meditation has only gone down a few points, and I”m sure it’ll level out. But for other less solid habits this can cause serious problems down the road. 

My writing habit, which was incredibly strong, has fallen a part specifically because of hard knocks from another vector - just pushing the habit. Eating has always been unstable because it’s not pegged to anything, it’s a floating habit. 

I have a feeling that skillfully dealing with these protuberances are at the heart of success in this entire project.

Day 540

Day 540 Record Keeping (66)
Day 509 Fixed Meditation (83)
Day 455 Bodyweight Exercise (5 typewriter pushups - 70)
Day 382 Writing (56)
Day 555 Eating (63)
Ok sleep, ok wakeup. Depressed a lot of the day. My routine is still un-fluid - I’m still battling jet lag and moving time zones - sleep cycle is really off. Despite that I’m working with these habits. Changing my schedule so the hardest task - writing - was first is really a good thing. It just feels so much easier. 

I’m thinking that I might have to change up schedules like this anytime I’m really pushing a skill towards mastery.

Day 539

Day 539 Record Keeping (58)
Day 508 Fixed Meditation (84)
Day 454 Bodyweight Exercise (4 typewriter pushups - 73)
Day 381 Writing (47)
Day 554 Eating (65)
Ok sleep, ok wakeup. Switching up my schedule worked great for writing. Got stuck trying to figure out what I should do for my workout schedule - I want to do cardio interspersed with my bodyweight plan, but got stuck thinking about it and almost didn’t do it. I think I should come up with a bunch of maxims - one maxim in this case would be something to the effect of: “Thinking about things interferes with the doing.” 

Meaning I should continue what I’ve already set out to do and have a planning session that doesn’t interfere with that in order to decide what future activities will be.

DAY 200!!!!!!

Day 200 Record Keeping
Day 168 Fixed Meditation 
Day 114 Bodyweight Exercise  (FULL BRIDGE!!)
Day 41 Writing = 64
Day 214 Eating = 79
Great sleep, good wakeup. 

Day 200

Well, this marks a really great day. 200 days of record keeping - and I’ve only neglected to do it 7 times (and those 7 times included times of rigorous travel).

In my last attempt at this project I only got up to 199 days - and that was with a ridiculous number of holes and incredibly shoddy record keeping. This marks the longest I’ve ever stuck with anything with this much deliberateness. And I feel completely strong in it. Record keeping is completely fixed as a “superhabit” - I think it would take a lot to prevent me from doing it. So is fixed meditation and bodyweight exercises. 

At this point I would normally hope for the best in the struggle to make it to a full year - but it really isn’t a struggle anymore as is. This bodes well for the future of this project…and with my self improvement regiment in general.