Day 161 & Inexplicable Anxiety & Perfect Score
Day 161 Record Keeping SRHI = 84
Day 129 Fixed Meditation SRHI = 82
Day 75 Bodyweight Exercise SRHI= 79 (2x8, 1x4 burpees)
Day 2 Writing = 12
Day 175 Eating SRHI = 62
Good sleep, good wakeup. Severe bought of anxiety yesterday. FIRST PERFECT SCORE ON THE SRHI!!!
Inexplicable Anxiety Yesterday
Yesterday was perhaps the most efficient completion of my habits I’ve ever had. I woke up early, went from task to task without any dithering and finished my work before lunch.
Then my mind started racing, thinking about tasks I wasn’t at yet. Writing, future assignments, tasks I have yet to get done, photography, wishing this whole process would hurry up. Basically goal-oriented thinking, instead of the process oriented manner that this entire project is based on.
But stepping back, all this negative emotion is right on queue - I’ve started a new habit, adding to my endurance load. And this is a habit I’m quite fearful of. What is needed is forgiveness -I’m going to mess up, and I’m going to be assailed - it’s just the hallmark of endurance depletion.
What I ended up doing is taking a moment to relax. I went to the beach, I did some meditation, and the feeling faded and I had a great rest of the day. Next time this happens I’m going to watch some funny youtube videos - a task that worked really well when I was experimenting with regimentation. I wanted something that acted to counter ego depletion - Baumeister found that sugar did the job. I wanted an alternative, and youtube seemed to work.
Perfect Score
I think the only reason I got this was because I was so loopy from doing my burpees. I couldn’t think straight, and basically found myself slogging through my daily SRHI - it was completely automatic. I’m beginning to think that self awareness is important - not only as one factor for the SRHI score, but it somehow enhances all other factors. It becomes shifted and seated as more a part of who I am. Knowing that I do the task without thinking in my mind makes it more a part of me, which shores up identity questions.