Dah 1774 & Rudimentary Ego Depletion Recuperation Test

January 07, 2019 by The Science of Self Help

Day 1774 Record Keeping
Day 1746 Fixed Meditation (40 min = 10 gratitude, 10 selfing, 10 vipassana, 10 metta)
Day 1620 Writing (4, 20 min Pomodoros)
Day 1159 Exercise (running HIIT, 12 min, 30s:60s)
Day 900 Mobility/Stretching (15 min, calf and foot work)
Day 210 Flossing (All teeth)
Day 132 Monday groceries
–
Ok sleep. Got really down and tired today. But did everything. Raised up to next stage of 8 week progressive HIIT. Failed to get to 17 minutes today, mostly because my calf started tightening up. Did calf mobility and got over it.

Rudimentary Ego Depletion Recuperation Test
Today, using a rudimentary scale of 1-10, I measured whether I could rejuvenate my focus. After my routine, I was at 0, or as close to it as I’ve been in a while. I used several methods for a few minutes to see if I could get it up.

3:51 - 3:54 - Looked at cute pics on reddit on r/aww - got back to 4
3:56 - 3:59 - Watched funny SNL videos - got to a 6
4 - 4:03 - Read off a list of accomplishments - got up to an 8
4:05 - 4:07 - Watched an incredibly heartwarming video of a deaf teen learning to communicate for the first time - 8.5
4:07 - 4:08 - Tried to pretend I was batman reading and thinking about willpower depletion - 9

A few things - it seems as though either getting back up to a 4 is easier (and these strategies have diminishing returns) or that cute pics have a greater rejuvenation value than other activities. I’m curious what the effects would be if I did this in a different order. Also, I wonder how many times you can do this.

In any case, it was remarkable. At 0 I could barely think as I lolled in bed. I couldn’t even think about doing anything. In 17 minutes I had a lot of focus and energy, even though I was still physically tired. Ended up going to the store to run errands.

Day 1155 & A Thousand Days of Writing!

April 25, 2017 by The Science of Self Help

Day 1155 Record Keeping
Day 1127 Fixed Meditation (10 min)
Day 1001 Writing (DID NOT DO)
Day 541 Rowing (rowing, 30 min/4100 m)
Day 282 Mobility/Stretching (10 min, hip stretch & back smash)
—
Early to Rise
Day 310 Sleep Recording (1|3|10:30|1:20)
Day 281 Bedtime Curfew
Day 119 Wakeup Alarm
–
Good sleep. Exhausted and depleted today. Passed 1,000 Days of Writing!!!! My writing habit may have gone through its ups and downs (and I definitely messed up and didn’t do it today) but I’m still going for it.

Day 1072

February 01, 2017 by The Science of Self Help

Day 1072 Record Keeping
Day 1044 Fixed Meditation (DID NOT DO)
Day 918 Writing (2/15 min, revision, great work)
Day 458 Rowing (DID NOT DO)
Day 199 Mobility/Stretching (DID NOT DO)
—–
Eating
Day 296 Pantry Check (DID NOT DO)
Day 294 Food Recording (DID NOT DO)
—
Early to Rise
Day 227 Water (DID NOT DO)
Day 227 Sleep Recording (3:10|4:40|11:30|2)
Day 198 Bedtime Curfew (DID NOT DO)
Day 36 Wakeup Alarm 80
–
Great sleep, very slow wakeup. Incredibly drained. Understandable - sleep cycle is off, first real HIIT since being back. Despite it my hardest habit, writing, and at that my revision, which I tend to have the most failures to start and procrastination arise, was great. I put it off all day, but finally ended up doing it at the most minimum amounts - yet, I did great work. It’s hilarious how bad I feel saying I did two sets of 15 minutes, but I really feel great about the amount of work I did. I think it will naturally improve, but in order for it to I have to actually start. The lowered minimums do this. I had intended to other routines today but I’m pretty tired. Hopefully I can reset my sleep patterns for tomorrow.

Day 1046

January 07, 2017 by The Science of Self Help

Day 1046 Record Keeping
Day 1018 Fixed Meditation (15 min)
Day 892 Writing (DID NOT DO)
Day 432 Rowing (125 15 lb kb swings, 5x25, Russian style)
Day 173 Mobility/Stretching (back smash, hip stretch)
—–
Eating
Day 270 Pantry Check (DiD NOT DO)
Day 268 Food Recording
—
Early to Rise
Day 201 Water (DID NOT DO)
Day 201 Sleep Recording (11:50|12:40|8:10|9:10)
Day 172 Bedtime Curfew
Day 10 Wakeup Alarm 62
–
Great sleep, good wakeup. Really drained today. Stretching, kettlebells, and meditation all were very painful/intense. Did not do my writing today. This is why I normally do writing first, cause it usually takes more out of me unless I’m doing a draft.

Day 1023

December 14, 2016 by The Science of Self Help

Day 1023 Record Keeping
Day 995 Fixed Meditation (10 min)
Day 869 Writing (3/20 min)
Day 409 Rowing (100 kb swings, form, 4x25)
Day 150 Mobility/Stretching (back stretches)
—–
Eating
Day 247 Pantry Check
Day 245 Food Recording
—
Early to Rise
Day 178 Water
Day 178 Sleep Recording (1|3:45|10:30|12)
Day 149 Bedtime Curfew
–
Bad sleep, ok wakeup. Really depleted. Could not focus on writing until I did a “drop set” - dropping and saying I’d just do 20 minutes. That got me through the full round. I think this is a really useful tool to use when you’re feeling unfocused. The key is you have to be able to honestly self assess, instead of fooling yourself into thinking you will be focused after a few minutes. I think that idea of the 3 or 5 second rule might be key here.

Day 904

August 17, 2016 by The Science of Self Help

Day 904 Record Keeping
Day 876 Fixed Meditation (DID NOT DO)
Day 750 Writing (DID NOT DO)
Day 290 Rowing (DID NOT DO)
Day 31 Mobility/Stretching 75 (DID NOT DO)
—–
Eating
Day 128 Pantry Check
Day 126 Food Recording
—
Early to Rise
Day 59 Bacon & Water
Day 59 Sleep Recording (1|2:30/5|12:40|1:10)
Day 32 Bedtime Curfew 70
–
ABYSMAL sleep, bad wakeup. Incredibly sore from the couch stretch and hamstring smash - that with my HIIT on Monday left me incredibly sore, and I had a lot of problems falling asleep because of it. Totally drained and sore the this morning, I was totally drained, failed to discharge any of my major habits.

What’s interesting is how automatic all my other “Identity Habits” are - did all my small tasks automatically. Worth thinking about.

Lydia had a thought of maybe splitting up tasks or doing them at even lower levels. My thought was maybe switching to microcycling something like writing, which is the really hard task for me to do when I’m depleted. I do need some sort of widget that sweeps in and gives me a protocol to follow when I have a lingering failure to start. Because often the additional tasks aren’t so difficult - working out or meditating - there’s just no cut-off point when I can’t force myself to work on writing.

Day 17, No Alcohol Challenge. Yesterday I had water at a hookah lounge - interesting how predictable other vices become as a matter of course. Very interesting seeing that connection.

Today I met a friend, moved quite a bit and caught up with her in 4 locations - 3 bars and one restaurant. I had non alcoholic beers three times and a water at the restaurant.

I really didn’t miss alcohol at all. It wasn’t awkward at all as she went through drinks. I do need to stop with the go-to of non alcoholic beer - I think it’s needless calories, but I feel it’s better than the excessively sugar alternatives. I might try juice or tea.

Dat 694

January 20, 2016 by The Science of Self Help

Day 694 Record Keeping (78)
Day 663 Fixed Meditation
Day 540 Writing (71)
Day 80 Rowing (71)
Day 30 Eating (71)
Amazing sleep, slow wakeup. Really depleted today and off my morning routine. I really don’t know what’s going on. Super depleted this week, super tired.

Day 688-689

January 15, 2016 by The Science of Self Help

Have been all over the place with discipline these two days.

I think it may be from pushing a few habits (both recorded and not recorded) a little too hard.

I intended on pushing more after my friends left for the holiday. But I do remember expressing a bit of concern, simply because many times in the past the burden may be born for a while, but often becomes much heavier at the end of the week. There is some sort of delay when putting too much pressure - the key is weighing yourself down correctly so you improve efficiently without collapsing.

This has been a bit of a collapse. It has been accompanied by wildly shifting emotions (also par for the course) a well as the usual lack of recording.

Day 442

May 14, 2015 by The Science of Self Help

Day 442 Record Keeping
Day 411 Fixed Meditation
Day 357 Bodyweight Exercise (25 lb kbell tabata)
Day 284 Writing (editing)
Day 457 Eating
Day 92 Dynamic Meditation = 80 (3 hour)
Day 39 Marketing = 68 (editing)
Great sleep, great wakeup. So yeah yesterday I skipped recording despite doing quite a bit of my habits - I was completely utterly depleted, and I think I know the reason, which I will blog about next.

Dynamic Med Notes (3 hour):
No real arisings - low level irritation but it as all quickly controlled. Could I actually be improving?

Day 393 & Why Do Depletion Days Happen

March 27, 2015 by The Science of Self Help

Day 393 Record Keeping
Day 362 Fixed Meditation
Day 308 Bodyweight Exercise (2 pushups)
Day 235 Writing (58 words)
Day 408 Eating
Day 43 Dynamic Meditation = 71 (1 hour)
Great sleep, slow wakeup. Sick. Really depleted.
Possible factors: Sick, cheat day yesterday. Went biking for the first time yesterday. Slept well last night. Had beer last night. The days before had a lot of travel - errands that kept me busy. The end of last night I felt utterly drained - I fought on to do more things work-related beyond what I needed to do. Perhaps cutting off writing …or any habit….is just as important as starting it.

Dynamic Med Notes (1 hour):
x10 fidgeting
I’ve started catching fidgeting - the urge before
x4 shoulders
x4 arising caught
x1 an arising
X1 laughter

Why Do Ego-Depletion Days Happen?

There are some random days, like today, I feel utterly depleted and have to go down to basic executions of habits. Why?

Of course today I’m sick, but I’m really curious as to why in other circumstances. I think this is a really important factor - does a high output day that causes a higher willpower expenditure cause an ego depletion state the next day? Is this something that takes time? Is that ego depleted state a delayed reaction to high will expenditure? Because it certainly feels like it some days.

Some days it’s not a case of doing something difficult, and then later feeling depleted - there are days I just start out feeling utterly exhausted.

Baumeister has a daily correspondence - you do something that expends willpower, the next task is going to suffer, and regeneration occurs after ingesting glucose or sleeping. Could this be how endurance depletion works? It would explain waking up depleted - that weeks of higher endurance loads culminate in a day that starts off with depleted willpower. It also makes sense of treating endurance as a separate (but related) factor with it’s own dynamic.

It’s something I really want to pay attention to. When I’m experiencing these days I need to note any other abnormal circumstances.

Also, is there a corresponding high willpower day with great output earlier in the week? I might have in this case - I’ve been having really good writing days and meditations….again, something to keep an eye on.

Day 372 & Habit Formation Speed &

March 05, 2015 by The Science of Self Help

Day 372 Record Keeping
Day 341 Fixed Meditation (brought up neg emot to quell - HARD)
Day 287 Bodyweight Exercise (bridges - HARD)
Day 214 Writing (didn’t do - very difficult to summon up willpower)
Day 387 Eating = 75
Day 22 Dynamic Meditation = 70 (30 minutes)
Great sleep, great wakeup. Very sore. This is a good thing, a reflection of pushing my workout habit. Unfortunately my willpower was very depleted today.

Increased Speed of Habit Formation

Today I talked to Lydia about habit formation. This planning is working for her - she’s recording and flossing, and it seems to be really working for her. She mentioned that her flossing habit is almost a habit at 50 days, and her recording is almost a superhabit at 100 days.

I mentioned that my dynamic meditation is coming quite quickly, and I started to think about it in terms of what it would mean for a habit formula. It seems as though my ability to form habits is increasing (Time to Habituation), and the Grit Scale might just be used to represent that in an equation.

I’ve only taken it three times, but it might behoove me to take it every time I start and achieve a superhabit.

Dynamic Med Notes (30 minutes):

x5 fidgeting or almost fidgeting
x3 an arising of nervousness

Notes: Another spontaneous arising. Makes me think that doing it multiple times in a day will help foster that spontaneity

I had a cheat day and the sugar spike noticeably effectd my mental capacity to keep at a more relaxed level

metaphor: it feels like a solvent - the ability to take an incoming experience and detach that cohesion to my internal mental state.

Just like habit amnesia, I have a dynamic meditation amnesia with this - I’ll forget to observe my thoughts and prevent arisings. It can be very annoying when it doesn’t work out positively, but absorption is a case where I just forget everything and it prevents negative arisings.

Art of doing two things at once is important. It’s very difficult to focus on work and this. Or even watching a tv show and this. Doing three things is almost impossible - I’m hoping this will get to the point where it’s just automatic.

Day 317 & Complete Willpower Drain

January 10, 2015 by The Science of Self Help

Day 317 Record Keeping
Day 286 Fixed Meditation
Day 232 Bodyweight Exercise (5 rounds, Tabata)
Day 159 Writing (did not do)
Day 332 Eating = 72
Day 89 Work = 61 (did not do)
Ok sleep, great wakeup.

Complete Willpower Drain
Today I experienced a really severe willpower drain.

I woke up, pretty well rested. I did my meditation, then moved on to bodyweight exercises. I did 5 rounds of Tabatas, 20 seconds on as fast as possible, 10 seconds (stairclimbers, air squats, jumping jacks, jumping lunges) and got really really tired.

That feeling of carb/willpower drain was really powerful - I really had no urge to do anything, so I attempted to watch some funny shows. Then I made a big breakfast - fats, protein, veggies. Then I grabbed a coke thinking that sugar would replenish my ego depletion. Unfortunately the only thing I had available was diet coke. I tried to monitor to see if I felt a replenishment.

A little bit. Slowly got up to a 3-4/10 on willpower.

I couldn’t concentrate on anything - the starting inertia for writing was just insurmountable today, and that meant that work didn’t get done either. It’s now 10 PM, and even though I had a carby and cheaty dinner (Fish and Chips at a pub), my will hasn’t seemed to have returned as much as I would’ve liked.

Lydia suggested that I should take the weekend off. She asked me when the last time I had off from this project was….other than when I was too busy from traveling or sick that last time was March 22nd, 2014.

Mind you, it might just be because I had a hard workout. It might be that I need to stagger or shift things if I’m depleted. Or it might be that I need to have a carb heavy day and drink a post workout shake with dextrose to recover.

I’m going to monitor how I feel tomorrow. But I might very well take the weekend completely off entirely - call it a tactical rest weekend.

Day 161 & Inexplicable Anxiety & Perfect Score

August 06, 2014 by The Science of Self Help

Day 161 Record Keeping SRHI = 84
Day 129 Fixed Meditation SRHI = 82
Day 75 Bodyweight Exercise SRHI= 79 (2x8, 1x4 burpees)
Day 2 Writing = 12
Day 175 Eating SRHI = 62
Good sleep, good wakeup. Severe bought of anxiety yesterday. FIRST PERFECT SCORE ON THE SRHI!!!

Inexplicable Anxiety Yesterday
Yesterday was perhaps the most efficient completion of my habits I’ve ever had. I woke up early, went from task to task without any dithering and finished my work before lunch.

Then my mind started racing, thinking about tasks I wasn’t at yet. Writing, future assignments, tasks I have yet to get done, photography, wishing this whole process would hurry up. Basically goal-oriented thinking, instead of the process oriented manner that this entire project is based on.

But stepping back, all this negative emotion is right on queue - I’ve started a new habit, adding to my endurance load. And this is a habit I’m quite fearful of. What is needed is forgiveness -I’m going to mess up, and I’m going to be assailed - it’s just the hallmark of endurance depletion.

What I ended up doing is taking a moment to relax. I went to the beach, I did some meditation, and the feeling faded and I had a great rest of the day. Next time this happens I’m going to watch some funny youtube videos - a task that worked really well when I was experimenting with regimentation. I wanted something that acted to counter ego depletion - Baumeister found that sugar did the job. I wanted an alternative, and youtube seemed to work.

Perfect Score
I think the only reason I got this was because I was so loopy from doing my burpees. I couldn’t think straight, and basically found myself slogging through my daily SRHI - it was completely automatic. I’m beginning to think that self awareness is important - not only as one factor for the SRHI score, but it somehow enhances all other factors. It becomes shifted and seated as more a part of who I am. Knowing that I do the task without thinking in my mind makes it more a part of me, which shores up identity questions.