Day 201 & No Bread Challenge Analysis

Day 201 Record Keeping
Day 169 Fixed Meditation 
Day 115 Bodyweight Exercise  (2x5 diamond pushups, 3x5 bent knee inverted rows)
Day 42 Writing = 64
Day 215 Eating = 77
Great sleep, good wakeup. 

 No Bread Challenge Analysis

I thought of this challenge more of an exercise in stabilizing habits that are more general and have wobblly bits to them, and a challenge to experiment with rising emotions and urges in habits that have to be maintained more continuously and as a negation (as opposed to habits that need only be performed once per day).

Eating right is a habit that is way too general. There are just way too many factors that have to be triggered at various times during the day. You gotta know what places around you serve the correct foods. You need to learn how to shop and cook regularly. If I were to do this habit again, I would break it down into minute bits. But, not having done so, I felt this no bread challenge was an excellent way to bolster the habit. 

As for rising emotions in negative habits, this definitely worked. At my latest count I said no to bread or other high carb substances 31 times in the space of 4 months. Taking a picture really helped because it made it a challenge, and freed me to go places where I would be tempted. Posting it to this blog seemed to make it official. The whole process definitely became gamified - I felt like I was earning points.

I want to try this again, and I want to find what the tipping point is. How many instances of refusal does it take for me to make this into a habit? Does it change from challenge to challenge? Did I really make refusing bread into a negative habit? Or, as many people say that you don’t form negative habits - did I replace eating bread with taking a picture of it? Will this work with other habits? Is it still at work within me - will this habit continue?

I’d really like to try this with dynamic meditation - but I’d like to break it down into individual emotional concerns. For example - a month of no stress - rather than do everything at once like I did in the past. Each challenge will no doubt have unique problems - how do I take a picture of responding to tension and stress? I’ll have to think about it.

Today was the end of my no bread challenge. In celebration I went carb crazy! Pizza, a Iberico ham sandwich (a local specialty I’ve wanted to try), a hamburger from my favorite burger place (with bread this time!) and some sweets. I’ll blog about my thoughts on the challenge tomorrow.

Pita at Greek restaurant, +1. Bread snack, +1. Tortillas at Mexican restaurant, +1.

Day 197 & 30 Day Nerve Cluster Reformation

Day 197 Record Keeping
Day 165 Fixed Meditation (16-32 sec, one instance of 1 minute)
Day 111 Bodyweight Exercise  (3 bridges)
Day 38 Writing = 56
Day 211 Eating = 79
Great sleep, great wakeup. 

30 Day Nerve Cluster Reformation
I was watching a video lecture dealing with emotional control. He was talking about how some experiment described brain physiology - the test subjects were asked to change their behavior, and in 30 days their brains had physically changed - I’m assuming this is what neuroplasticity is all about.

His point was that if you do a task for long enough it starts becoming you - physically. Now whether or not this is all true - specifically the 30 days, which has the hallmarks of an old wives tale (like forming habits takes only 21 days) - is unimportant - but it still has some relevance to my project.

I have been doing this no bread thing for 24 days now. In Barcelona bread is just normally given with each meal. I started off thinking it was going to be really really difficult to not eat it, especially if it’s sitting there on the table staring at me - and it was at first. But it very quickly became easy. I really don’t even see the baskets and it has progressed to amazing lengths of automaticity.

The same occurred for the one week that I did my dynamic meditation. I would start automatically catching negative trains of thought almost exactly when they began (and sometimes before they fully coalesced in as a distinct thought in my mind) - and that shift occurred really quickly.

So what does this have to do with my project? These 30 day challenges might be a good thing that I can use to bolster or take a habit up to the next level. Eating well is a great primary habit - working on not eating bread allows me to have minute control over it - I don’t have to avoid restaurants that have bread - or burger places etc - I just eat around it, and I practice for the month to have that control. There’s also something very gamified about it - I feel the challenge of going to a place that’s more difficult because I get points for doing it. 

I foresee doing the same thing for not drinking, or for a modified version of dynamic meditation - only focusing specifically for individual emotions (anxiety, anger, depression) for 30 days as an outgrowth of my meditation habit.

I do not generally like 30 day challenges. A lot of them are done in the misguided view that it will cement into a habit by that time, which is just highly unlikely. But I think they can be used to take a regular habit to greater lengths.

Bread with lunch, +1. Incredibly sweet tomato jam with salad, +1. Subjectively it feels incredibly automatic. I suppose the ultimate test at this point would be something extreme like picking the toppings of a pizza. Or ignoring naan with Indian food, which might be my gold standard in terms of desire.

Indian without naan which I thought would be impossible +1, to-go place insisted on trying to push rice and potatoes on me +1

Yummy middle eastern food. Came out with a bread basket +1. The other plate had rice that I ate around +1. But wait! Underneath the sliced meat was diced up white bread +1. Another +1 modifier for having to dig out the pretty well mixed white bread hidden in the meat. +4 for the night!

Basket of bread sitting on table +1, philo crisps in salad +1
15 days, 16 instances so far

Uneaten croutons on Caesar salad at lunch +1, uneaten bread with perfect seafood garlic dipping sauce at dinner with friends +2 (friend modifier)

Ordered what I thought would be meat and a salad, got a ton of bread.
Picked off the chorizo from my chorizo sandwich +1
Ate salad and meat, ignored garlic bread #1
Embarrassed leaving bread, wrapped it up in napkins, shoved it in my bag, and threw it away (didn’t see a homeless dude) - priceless

Day 179 & Depletion Cycle Depression

Day 179 Record Keeping SRHI = 84
Day 147 Fixed Meditation SRHI = 83
Day 93 Bodyweight Exercise SRHI= 82 (3 bridges from ground up, 1 minute 1-legged planks)
Day 20 Writing = 53
Day 193 Eating SRHI = 66
Day 10 No Bread = 52 (5 times)
Great sleep, ok wakeup. Was incredibly depressed last night.

Depletion Cycle Depression

Last night I had less willpower. I felt tired and drained, despite having a fantastic day. I drank more than I usually do. I advised a friend and he made an off-hand comment of a friend who is a writer.

Writers are my kryptonite. When I hear of another’s success in circumstances that I feel are better or easier than mine I get angry, upset, jealous. Yesterday I went straight to depression. Not a good spot to be in.

And it was deep. I’m proud because I automatically started doing my meditations. I stretched out my thoughts to break them apart. I noticed the connections between them. And I got down again. I automatically went into my meditation routine a few times.

I did my morning meditation today and most of it was fighting a sense of defeat and frustration. A sense of guilt about feeling that defeat. I don’t particularly want to look at myself in the mirror today.

However I’m better able to step back and look at this critically. I’m at a point where I’ve just added two habits to my list quite quickly (writing and no bread). I’ve already been feeling incredibly carb depleted physically and ego depleted mentally throughout the week. It’s not at all surprising that the emotional roller coaster would start.

It is so incredibly difficult to notice emotions from a distance rather than being on the inside of them, especially when so much of it is caught up in how slow this whole process is. I have to remind myself that this project isn’t about being good at one thing - it’s about being fantastic at them all. Part of the reason I started it was because I have so many interests, so many things I want to do. And it’s not a race against anyone but myself.

When I see people progressing past me in one element, my jealousy kicks in, and I want to rush when I’m barely at a walk now.

Before I thought about making my daily meditations harder by focusing on a trigger point. After this cycle of depletion finishes perhaps I should start doing something like that. I’m also very interested in noting how long these cycles last.

Day 177 & 3 Months of Bodyweight Exercises!

Day 177 Record Keeping SRHI = 84
Day 145 Fixed Meditation SRHI = 83
Day 91 Bodyweight Exercise SRHI= 82 (3 bridges, 40 sec 1-leg planks)
Day 18 Writing = 50
Day 191 Eating SRHI = 62
Day 8 No Bread = 53 
Great sleep, great wakeup. 

JUST PASSED 3 MONTHS OF BODYWEIGHT EXERCISES!!

This has by far been the most fluid of habits. There was no danger period to speak of. Looking back I’m quite proud. I did these habits through intense travel through Brazil and through a 15 hour transition to Spain. Looking back at my spreadsheet I only missed doing these exercises 3 times in 3 months, and that’s something to be incredibly proud of.

Day 176, One Drink Too Many, & The Flash Diet

Day 176 Record Keeping SRHI = 84
Day 144 Fixed Meditation SRHI = 82
Day 90 Bodyweight Exercise SRHI= 80 (3x5 knee diamond pushups)
Day 17 Writing = 45
Day 190 Eating SRHI = 69
Day 7 No Bread = 40 
Great sleep, great wakeup. Felt depleted yesterday. Drank a little too much yesterday. 

One Drink Too Many

Felt pretty carb depleted, ended up eating a plate of patatas bravas. Some of the best I’ve had and it was well worth it. Met a colleague at a place that specialized in gin. Had an amazing gin drink, then made the mistake of ordering another. 

Good and bad points with this. The good was that there was some of the best looking bread on the table - and the most tempted I’ve been so far to eat it. I was buzzing, and I automatically let it sit there.Secondly, one drink had me buzzing, which demonstrates the progress I’ve made this year cutting back on booze. 

The bad was the completely unnecessary decision of getting another drink. I think as I get better at curtailing drinking, I’m going to viscerally understand that it’s a prop that I’ve associated with being out and social, and I’m realizing it’s something I need less and less. I’m getting more used to just ordering water as a go-to, and this is fantastic evolution.

When I got home, I had the munchies, and was incredibly proud that I just automatically made a snack of chorizo, tomatoes, and mushrooms instead of grabbing some chips at the store. And it was so utterly automatic.

The Flash Diet

During this no bread challenge I’ve decided to not only do a modified SRHI, but also count the number of times I’ve had to say no to bread.

A while back I read about dieters experiencing significant success in diet control by taking pics of any food they ate (the “flash” diet). That level of distancing oneself seemed to help them make better decisions, and I felt it helped last night when I decided to be that annoying guy at the table and take a pic of my bread basket. I decided I’ll do this for at least a month and see how it goes, and if it helps long term. And last night I felt that it did indeed bolster my control. So here’s my pic!

Day 175

Day 175 Record Keeping SRHI = 84
Day 143 Fixed Meditation SRHI = 83
Day 89 Bodyweight Exercise SRHI= 80 (1x3 bridges, 35 sec 1-leg planks)
Day 16 Writing = 47
Day 189 Eating SRHI = 63
Day 6 No Bread = 47

Great sleep, great wakeup. Felt depleted yesterday - lack of willpower, etc.

Day 174

Day 174 Record Keeping SRHI = 84
Day 142 Fixed Meditation SRHI = 82
Day 88 Bodyweight Exercise SRHI= 80 (3x3 diamond knee pushups)
Day 15 Writing = 25
Day 188 Eating SRHI = 63
Day 5 No Bread = 32

Great sleep, good wakeup. 

Bread, Barcelona, & Arising Urges

In this post I talk about arising urges. I specifically ask the questions:

Imagine if you could tell a smoker that after fighting off the urge to smoke X number of times, the urge would cease arising at all? Of course it would change from person to person, but what if you could come up with an average?

When I first decided to come to Spain I told my friend how I was trying to avoid grains. 

“Good luck!” he said, laughing.

Having visited Barcelona before, he painted it as a land where bread arrives continuously. And having been here for a week, it’s somewhat true. With the influx of foreigners, a lot of restaurants ask first before bringing it out automatically. But a number of places still do. 

I’ve started ignoring it while sitting on the table. And I think this is a really great thing to cultivate, not only for Spain but for back home in Texas, where I can’t even contemplate how many chips I’ve eaten before any given Tex-Mex meal. 

And this gives me an opportunity to do a mini project. Since I AM here, how many times would it take to cement the “ignoring of bread on a table” habit?

This is slightly different than other habits.

• It’s not daily
• It’s situation dependent and arises sporadically
• It would be dependent on the number of times the urge is fought off rather than the number of days

Could I do a SRHI on this?

After looking at it I realize I would have to modify the scale.

Frequency questions like “I do this task frequently” would have to be modified because the task of ignoring bread doesn’t necessarily contribute to the habit. It would have to be tied to a ratio - like “I frequently choose not to eat bread when the basket arrives.”

Periodic questions like “it belongs to my (daily, weekly, monthly) routine” would have to be ignored because this particular task isn’t a daily or routine thing, in that it wouldn’t necessarily happen with any regularity.

And I’m not sure about the last question, that of time. The last question on the SRHI is “I have been doing it for a long time”

Time is not as direct a thing with such a habit as with a daily habit. 

In thinking about it I would have to categorize such a thing as different from smoking, or nail biting, or anxiety, simply because it’s so irregular. This is an important distinction - I’ll have to come up with some name for this category of habit at some point.

This all being said I’ve had 4 instances where bread has been at the table, and I’ve ignored it 3 times. There have been 3 other times where the waiter asked if I wanted some, and I said no all 3 times. What I’d like to do is experiment with a non bread eating habit for the next month and see what happens. If I were to take the SRHI with just omitting the periodic question I get:

No Bread = 32

I’ve only become intentional about it roughly 5 days ago.